Ever since Jesus Christ came down from Heaven(?) to kick about on Earth for 30 odd years, everyone has been clamouring for a list ranking people with the initials JC from “Awesome” down to “Utter Shit.” Well stop the clamouring, here is the definitive list.
John Cleese being awesome.
Here’s a clip of Jimmy Cricket in ALL his glory. Check out those wellies!
And here’s vintage James Corden being both fat and a cunt.
Our undercover reporters have exclusively discovered that the G20 riot Police were trained by Monty Python.
When heroic Sergeant Delroy Smellie was set upon by a lunatic of a woman, armed to the teeth with BOTH a mobile phone AND a carton of (probably organic) orange juice, his colleagues feared the worst. (click here for footage)
But fortunately Smellie had been trained for exactly such an incident by John Cleese CBE and reacted quickly. He told a close pal -
“Fortunately I had been trained for exactly such an incident by John Cleese CBE and I reacted quickly – managing to punch her in the face before twatting her a couple of times with my stick.
“She should count herself lucky she didn’t come at me armed with a banana!” he quipped. “Or a rasberry” he added, motioning to a 16 ton weight located overhead.
Despite Smellie’s quick reactions he was still sprayed with a rogue burst of orange juice, which eye witness accounts suggest could have been as much as 50 ml, and his mum had to pop his shirt in on a hot wash.